You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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