Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
