My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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