I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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