Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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