Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
