He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize