I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
