He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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