I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
