Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
