plz talk dirty to me
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
