she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
