The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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