Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
