she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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