My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
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