i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just sent this text using only my big toe
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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