bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I need moral support for this bender
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
