Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
