...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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