Got a toothbrush?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
