I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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