What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
sarcasm needs its own font
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
