brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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