You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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