I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
