I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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