we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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