69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
