why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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