My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
only you would photoshop your dick
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
