Someone shit on the floor
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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