do herpes really smell.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
