Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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