what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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