Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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