Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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