Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
