So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
