i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
