Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
4 words: hood of his car
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
