Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm getting married
To pizza
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
