I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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