The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
