im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
