How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
