I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
