what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
