sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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