that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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